March 6, 2021No Comments

Nico One Month

One month already, how is that even possible? I think time will continue to go impossibly fast and slow at the same time for the rest of my life now. Always feeling like it's always been us but still marvel at how fast he grows and develops. So to always remember, here's a little status update on our little guy.

Nico can:
- Smile the cutest smile
- Lift his head and look into our eyes
- Follow his favorite toy with his eyes

Nico loves:
- Food!
- Stroller walks and car rides
- Cuddles on the couch

Big events:
- Everything was a first this month, doctors visits, grocery shopping, weekend walks, cuddles, all of it.
- First smile
- First photoshoot in moms studio
- First family photo

Growth:
4,7kg
54,07cm

 

 

 

 

February 24, 2021No Comments

My Birth Story

Before I forget it, I wanted to write down my birth story. Honestly it's already starting to feel like it happened to someone else. It's kind of strange for me to think about it. Fair warning, tis post is not for everyone, if you're not into this just move on and come back for the next one!

It started Friday evening on the 5th of February. I was doing what I did most evening at the end of my pregnancy, knitting baby clothes while curled up on the couch watching TV shows. It was 11pm or so and I slowly started recognising this wave like tension. It wasn't painful, I could barely feel when it started or ended but I knew I had not felt that before. Overly eager as I was (already 2 days overdue) I tried timing these very mild contractions to see where we were at. I had three every minute and they lasted for 30-45 seconds. We went to bed a little later and I told Patrick that we might have a baby the coming day but I wasn't brave enough to truly believe it, I didn't want to be disappointed again.

At 2am I woke up from a contraction. Still not painful but more forceful and I could clearly feel when they started and ended. I clocked them again, 4 in one minute and about a minute long. The app told me "time to go to the hospital" which I didn't really believe. But I woke Patrick and called the hospital. They didn't have any free rooms at the moment and she told me to take paracetamol and ibuprofen, try to sleep for a bit and maybe take a warm shower if I felt like that would help. I did as instructed and tried to sleep but it was pointless. Not so much because of the pain but due to the excitement and knowing that soon he would be here.

At 4:30am the contractions turned more painful and I had to breathe through them and could no longer talk at the same time. We called in again and they were still full but said we were welcome in and they would try to sort a room for us. As we knew it was full we did not stress. We both showered and packed the last things in the hospital bags. Patrick went and got the car and we texted the dog sitter to come pick up Milo in the morning.

At 5am, literally the second I sat down in the car, my water broke. And not like for most people, just a little, this was the full on movie version haha. As it was -16 outside and the car was still cold we had to go back up to the apartment again for me to change pants. So 5:15 we were finally back in the car and on our way to the hospital. The contractions were now much more painful and I don't remember much of the 25 minute car drive.

We're admitted to BB Stockholm delivery ward at Danderyd Hospital at 5:45. We instantly get a room (so thankful they managed that!) and they do a first check to see my status. 6cm dilated, no wonder the contractions were getting painful! They ask if I want an epidural and I had already, weeks earlier, decided I wanted one as soon as possible. They order one and tell me i usually takes 30-60 minutes before the doctor can do the procedure. She barely finishes the sentence before the doctor enters the room. 06:10 I get my epidural and 06:25 I'm in heaven. Labor is now something super chill. Sure I can feel the contractions coming and going and I can see on the monitor that they are strong. But there's no pain and the epidural even managed to block some of the uncomfortable "pressure feeling" you get which its not actually said to be able to do. I get screened for covid (slow test, routine, used to statistics and tracking later) and the two initial nurses say goodbye as their shift is over.

7am the amazing Maria (midwife) and her nurse Anne enters the room and take over my care. They set the perfect cozy mood light, turn on soft piano music and are just a source of positive and happy energy. They check the CTG and baby is doing fine. I'm now 8cm dilated and progressing quite fast for a first time mom.

We have breakfast and we laugh and talk. Not at all how I imagined child birth but I'm definitely not complaining. They refill my epidural once every 1.5hours and all feels good.

At 10:30 I'm fully dilated with no edges left. Baby is chilling right next to the Spinae bone, a point which at times can make you feel very nauseous but I'm ok for the most part.

At 11am they notice babys basal heart rate is going up and that I'm slowly getting a fever. I remember my feet feeling super warm but other than that I still felt good. At 11:30 they notice meconium colored amniotic fluids and this together with the heart rate has them putting on a scalp electrode to closer monitor him.

Despite being given IV for the fever (both liquids and medicine) it keeps rising and at 12:30 there's been no progess since 10:30 and they decide to put my on oxytocin IV to make my contractions even stronger. At 13:30 there's stil no progress despite me trying to push on and off according to the midwifes instructions. They now have to turn off the oxytocin as they can see that baby is getting more stressed.

At 2pm we sadly have to say goodbye to our favourite midwife/nurse team and welcome a new one (also good, just not as perfect as that other one). They do a timeout with a doctor to discuss my (non existing) progress and decide to give it one last go and turn on the oxytocin IV again. I go back and forth between the birth stool and the bed trying everything they tell me to. It's hard and no longer chill mode but the pain levels are completely fine due to the epidural. I push actively for over an hour before they come to the decision that a vacuum extractor is needed.

At 15:29 they set the vacuum extractor and two contractions/pulls later, at 15:37 the most perfect little boy is born with his umbilical cord wrapped one lap around is throat. Those 8 minutes are probably the worse minutes of my life. The level of pain and discomfort, nausea and panic I felt is not comparable to anything else. But what are 8 minutes when I get a lifetime with my little boy? They quickly set him free from the umbilical cord and give him to me han he makes the cutest little sounds right from start. Everything from this point is mostly a blur and a combination of memory and what I read in my charts.

The placenta came with the last and same push as his body, something quit unusual. I bled a lot, 1600ml, and they are not entirely sure from where or why but suspect the tear rather than the placenta/uterus. They spend 25 minutes stitching me up but that's ok, I barely notice in my baby bubble. I mostly remember asking Patrick a million times if he was ok as he was crying happy tears and I kept repeating the two sentences "he's real" and "he's so tiny". And he was tiny compared to what the ultrasounds had shown. I was expecting him to weigh absolutely minimum 4200g but more likely 4500-4800. But out came 4054g of pure perfection.

Due to how stressed he was during labor and my infection values we had to stay for observation (and IV antibiotics for me) at the hospital for 2 nights. We had a "family room" for just the tree of us and Patrick got to be with us at all times. The room was cozy and the staff amazing, and that says a lot coming from someone who absolutely hates hospitals, has a very low trust level for the general healthcare and have had several traumatic encounters with the healthcare system in the past few years.

All in all I give my delivery 10/10. Besides those 8 minutes of panic and pain it was a great experience that brought me and Patrick closer, that restored a bit of my trust in the healthcare system and that brought us the best thing yet, our beautiful son.

 

 

 

 

February 22, 2021No Comments

Time to find routines

It's already been two weeks since we came home from the hospital and today was Patricks first day back at work. Honestly it was quite nice that they're still doing home office due to corona. He worked all day of course but just knowing that he's here, just in the other room, in case something would happen, made this day much more relaxed.

My goal for the coming weeks is to find some sort of routine. Nico is still too small to have any sort of routine in his sleep schedule but for me to at least have points to aim for during the day would be good I think. So I started the day with a long warm shower before Patrick had to work and then left for a long walk (worked our way up to a little over 5km rounds now) with Nico sleeping in the stroller. The rest of the day was quit unorganised but hey, it's a work in progress and we'll figure it out eventually. We did manage to take these photos, maybe my favorit "before and after" of all time. Crazy to think that he was in there the entire time, our little Nico.

Det har redan gått två veckor sen vi kom hem från. sjukhuset och idag var Patrick första dag tillbaks på jobbet. Ärligt talat var det rätt skönt att de fortfarande arbetar hemifrån på grund av corona. Han jobbade såklart hela dagen men bara vetskapen att han är här, bara ett rum bort, gjorde dagen mycket mer avslappnad.

Mitt mål med de kommande veckorna är att försöka hitta någon slags rutin. Nico är fortfarande för liten för att ha riktiga rutiner i sitt sovschema men att i alla fall ha några hållpukter för mig att sikta på under dagen tror jag skulle göra mycket för mitt välbefinnande. Så idag började jag dagen med en lång varm dusch innan Patrick började jobba och sen en lång promenad  (har jobbat oss upp till strax över 5km per runda nu) med Nico sovandes i vagnen efter det. Resten av dagen blev inte så organiserad som jag skulle önska men det är okej, vi jobbar på det och förr eller senare kommer vi hitta rätt. Vi lyckades i alla fall ta de här bilderna, troligen min bästa "före och efter" bild någonsin. Så galet att det var han som var där inne hela tiden, vår lille Nico!

 

 

 

 

February 19, 2021No Comments

Lookalikes

"Does he look like mom or dad?" I think that's one of the most common questions when you have a baby. The answer obviously does not matter but I find the comparisons interesting and cute. It's still hard to tell and I still think he looks quite different in different photos or from day to day. One thing is for certain, he has Patricks chin and double dimples and his little smiles melt my heart. Who do you think he looks like?

"Ser han ut som mamma eller pappa?" Jag tror att det är en av de vanligaste frågorna men får när man får barn. Svaret spelar såklart ingen roll men jag tycker jämförelserna är gulliga och intressanta. Jag tycker fortfarande att det är svårt att tydligt se och jag tycker fortfarande han ser rätt olika ut från bild till bild och dag till dag. En sak är säker, han har patricks haka och dubbla smilgropar och hans små leenden får mig att smälta. Vem tycker du han är mest lik?

Mom
Dad
Dad
Mom

 

February 17, 2021No Comments

The little photo model

When the immensely talented Malin offers to do a little photo shoot of the whole family and then a couple of extra photos of Nico you don't say no. I'm so happy we got to do real family photos of the three/four of us (yes Milo joined for a few photos, bribed with cheese haha) and these will for sure end up on the wall here at home. I'm so excited to see the results and happy we got this memory to keep with us forever.

När de otroligt begåvade Malin erbjuder sig att fotografera hela familjen och sen några extra bilder på Nico tackar man inte nej. Jag är så himla glad att i fick tagit riktiga familjebilder på oss alla tre/fyra (ja Milo va såklart med på några bilder, mutad med ostbitar haha) och dessa kommer utan tvekan hänga på väggarna här hemma sen. Det ska bli så spännande att se resultatet sen och jag är så glad att vi fick detta minnet att bära med oss i framtiden.

 

 

 

 

February 14, 2021No Comments

Happy One Week Nico!

Although it feels like it has always been the three of us, I can't believe it's already been a week! Life has changed so much yet kind of still stayed the same. That "meaning of life" and "true love" thing they all keep talking about, I get it now. It's incomparable.

Happy one week Nico, let's celebrate by summing up your first week in life!

Trots att det känns som om att det alltid varit vi tre kan jag inte riktigt fatta att det redan gått en vecka! Livet har förändrats så fundamentalt men ändå förblivit precis som förut. Den där "meingen med livet" och "sanna kärleken" känslan alla pratar om, jag förstår den nu. Det går inte att jämföra.

Grattis på en-veckas-dagen Nico, vi firar med att summera din första vecka i livet!

On the 6th of February at 15:37, a cold winter afternoon, we welcomed you at BB Stockholm in Danderyd.

Den 6e februari klockan 15:37, en kall vintereftermiddag, välkomnade vi dig till världen på BB Stockholm i Danderyd.

The day after we introduced you to the world.

Dagen efter presenterade vi dig för världen. 

We had to stay two nights in the hospital due to my high infection values before we got to bring you home.

Vi var tvungna att stanna två nätter på BB på grund av mina höga infektionsvärden innan vi fick åka hem. 

Went for our first walk just a few hours after we got home. Just a short stroll around the neighborhood but it felt great and you seemed to enjoy the sleeping in the stroller.

Vi gick vår första promenad bara ett par timmar efter att vi kom hem från sjukhuset. Bara en kort sväng runt kvarteret men det kändes riktigt bra och du verkade gilla att sova i vagnen. 

We struggled with breastfeeding and had a terrible first night home with a total of 40 minutes of sleep for me. We ended up deciding to give you some formula and you quickly turned into a very happy baby. We went to the first doctors appointment two days later and I'm glad I trusted my instincts and gave you some formula as event with that supplement you had lost 13% body weight. We continued mixing breastfeeding, pumping and formula and you started to gain back what you'd lost again .

Vi hade det väldigt kämpigt med amningen och första natten hemma var hemsk, jag sov totalt 40 minuter under den natten. Vi bestämde tillslut att vi skulle ge dig lite ersättning och ditt humör vände snabbt till en gad liten bebis. Vi gick på ditt första läkarbesök ett par dagar senare och jag är glad att jag lyssnade på mina instinkter och gav dig en del ersättning då du trots detta tappat 13% i kroppsvikt. Vi fortsatte mixa amning med pumpning och versioning och du började gå upp i vikt igen.

We gave you your first bath, something you din't really seem to enjoy,

Vi gav dig ditt första bad, något som var måttligt uppskattat.

You watched (ok eye's were mostly closed haha) your first football game. Obviously cheering for BVB like your dad and even wearing their match jersey.

Du tittade på (okej ögonen var för det mesta stängda haha) din första fotbollsmatch. Givetvis hejade du på BVB precis som din pappa och hade till och med deras matchtröja på. 

On the weekend we went for a long walk in the nature reserve, the first weekend walk with you. The weather was beyond magical and we truly enjoyed our walk while you slept warm and cozy in the stroller.

Till helgen gick vi på långpromenad i ett naturreservat, första helgpromenaden med dig. Vädret var helt underbart magiskt och vi njöt verkligen av vår promenad medan du låg varm och mysig  i vagnen.

The rest of the week we spent snuggling at home and getting to know each other.

Resten av veckan spenderade vi med hemmamys för att lära känna varandra. 

 

 

 

February 12, 2021No Comments

First Bath

Day 6 in life and it was time for the first bath. He will clearly need some convincing off the joy of warm baths before he becomes a spa lover like mom and dad haha. While the bath was unpleasant the soft towel cuddles and baby oil massage after seemed to be more to his liking.

We're still playing everything by his rules and don't really have any routines to speak of. I miss routines but less then one week in I think this is totally fine. We will get there!

Dag 6 i livet och dags för först badet. Här har vi en som definitivt kommer behöva mer övertalning vad gäller varma bad innan han blir en spaälskare som sin mamma och pappa haha. Medan badet inte var speciellt njutbart verkade de mjuka handduksmyset och babyoljemassagen efteråt vara mer uppskattat. 

Vi lever fortfarande livet enligt hans regler och har inte direkt några rutiner. Jag saknar verkligen rutiner men efter mindre än en vecka efter förlossningen känns detta ändå helt ok. Vi kommer hitta våra mönster.

 

 

 

 

February 10, 2021No Comments

All wrapped up

Today Nico had his first doctors visit. The little one lost a lot of weight (13%) so now we're on a strict food schedule to try and gain that back. Tomorrow we're going back to the hospital for another weigh in to make sure he's not loosing even more weight. On the plus side he seems to really like the car seat and falls asleep already on the way to the car, all wrapped upp in blankets and cozy sweaters.

Idag hade Nico sitt första läkarbesök. Vår lille hade tappat rätt mycket i vikt (13%) så går vi på ett strikt matschema för att försöka komma tillbaka till hans födelsevikt. Vi ska tillbaks till sjukhuset redan imorgon för vägning för att se till att han inte tappat ytterligare i vikt. En gladare nyhet är att han verkar älskar babyskyddet och somnar i det redan på väg till bilen, inlindad och gosig i filtar och mysiga tröjor. 

 

 

 

 

February 9, 2021No Comments

Our first little stroll

Yesterday, a few hours after we arrived home, we celebrated Nicos first 48 hours in this world with a short walk around the neighbourhood. Not gonna lie, I still felt quite sore but the longer we walked the better I felt. Can't wait to get back to my regular walks again!

Igår, några timmar efter att vi kommit hem, firade vi Nicos första 48 timmar här i världen med en kort promenad runt kvarteret. Jag ska väl inte sticka under stol med att jag var rätt öm men desto längre vi gick desto bättre kändes det. Längtar verkligen tillbaka till mina vanliga promenader!

 

 

 

 

February 8, 2021No Comments

Going Home

It feels so surreal that we get to bring you hoe today little one. It wasn't just a cool weekend at the hospital, we get to have an actual real life we you now. Lucky us!

We left the hospital today in the cold winter afternoon (-10 and snow everywhere!) and our little guy seems to have a pretty chill mindset towards life and slept through the entire car ride, wrapped in a home knitted sweater and a warm and cozy sleeping bag. Now we're home and settling in to life as family of 3 and a flouff. The baby bubble is real and I never want to leave!

Det känns så himla overkligt att vi får ta med dig hem idag lille vän. Det var inte bara en häftig helg på sjukhuset, vi får ett helt liv med dig nu. Lycko oss! 

Vi lämnade sjukhuset idag på den kalla vintereftermiddagen (-10 och snö överallt!) och vår lilla kille verkar ha en ganska chill inställning till livet och sov sig igenom hela bilresan hem iförd hemstickad kofta och en varm och gosig åkpåse. Nu är vi äntligen hemma och gör oss familjära med livet som en familj på tre plus ett fluff. 

 

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